The Best Revenge is Success

If you are currently unemployed, it's time to take that long, deep breath and a time-out to reassess your dreams, your goals, your needs, your options, and lay out your course for the future.

A very important point to make here that cannot be emphasized enough, is that despite the overall conditions of the economy, the current high unemployment rates, or the current state of your particular industry, your individual situation may be quite different and does not have to be limited by these external factors. Just as in a bear market there are always still a few stocks that do well, or bonds begin to spike, there are always opportunities out there if we are willing to be open-minded, look at different options, and allow ourselves to change and to grow.

We all know people who were laid-off and yet somehow managed to immediately find positions somewhere else, despite the job market. We all know people who were laid-off, only to be brought right back into the same company a few months later. Things are always moving, people are always coming and going, and opportunities are still available. You do have to be willing to take a chance on something new, perhaps something totally different than you've ever done before, but it just may be the opportunity you've been looking for to finally pursue what you've always wanted to do in life.

When you become unemployed, and it was not by your own choice, you may find yourself bewildered and at a loss. You may be feeling a number of unpleasant emotions — depression, anger, fear and hopelessness. Losing your job is always a blow to our self-esteem and our self-confidence, so the first thing you need to take care of is yourself. Start with "you." Start by healing your psyche of any destructive influences. Take a break to relax, regroup and start thinking about new possibilities. Start rebuilding your confidence by implementing that physical fitness program you've always wanted to do. Start rebuilding your self-esteem by taking an inventory of all of your accomplishments to date, your talents and skills. Start dreaming again by invigorating your passion, creating new goals, and asking, "What if?"

You can make this a wonderful brand new start in life. Sure, it may be more than a little scary, but you can transform that nervous energy into a feeling of excitement. Ever notice how closely related they are? You can make this a time to build bigger plans and pursue your lifelong dreams. You can make this "the breath that refreshes" and revitalize your hopes and your spirit — isn't that really the only way?

What do I do NOW?

LEAVE WITH GRACE AND DIGNITY: Even though you may be feeling hurt or angry or betrayed, the people you worked with are your future contacts for opportunities and references, so be sure to leave a lasting good impression.

• Personally say good-bye to all your coworkers, one-at-a-time, with whom you have worked closely with and tell them what you appreciated about each of them. Shake hands, hug, whatever feels appropriate to that relationship. People know that this is an emotional time for you, and they will appreciate your taking the time to personally say good-bye to them.
• Realize that your coworkers are in shock, too, and won't know what to say. It will be awkward, and they will dealing with "survivor's guilt" themselves. Give and expect few words. A simple nod, a "thank you for everything," a handshake or a hug is all that is needed.
• Collect contact information: phone numbers, email addresses and home addresses of all the people you worked with — you never know who will provide the lead that bears fruit.
• Accept all offers to "do lunch:" Although you may feel like crawling under the blankets and never coming out again, maintaining your relationships will make you feel better, relieve the sense of isolation, give you a boost of hope and optimism, and open the door to leads and opportunities.
• Thank your manager for all the help and assistance he/she has provided. Let him/her know if you would be willing to return to the company if things change or in a different capacity. Ask your manager how references and letters of recommendation will be handled. Ask if he/she would be willing to have lunch with you at a later date, for career advice, guidance, and mentoring. Take notes, as you will be under stress and may not remember what was said later.
• Take all your personal belongings. Because you will be under stress, it is easy to forget things. Take all the time you need to check each and every drawer for personal items. It should go without saying, but make certain you are not taking any company property or proprietary information with you. Suffice it to say that security is being stepped up everywhere, including corporations, so you can expect your boxes to be checked before you walk out the door.
• Send a good-bye email and change your voicemail to offer alternative contact information or refer callers to others. This will prevent confusion when people try to contact you as usual.
• Retain your sense of humor. Some people can manage to leave with a real sense of style. Nortel Corporation has gone through a number of huge layoffs, yet one employee took the opportunity to leave with style and grace and make herself unforgettable. Her now famous voicemail message was being forwarded around to so many people, and called so often, she decided to put it on a website. Another person decided to create their own sitcom of his life after unemployment, in a truly funny site that will bring him a lot of exposure. Yet another person decided that she would have employers contact her, and placed her "ad" on a giant billboard for the world to see. (Guess what? It worked! There's a lot to be said for boldness.) Others may opt for a "Layoff Party" where they invite all their friends to laugh, and cry and sing for an event we don't usually think of celebrating. Whatever your style, there are many ways to leave a great lasting impression.
• Send "Thank You" cards to your manager, to anyone you might not have been able to say good-bye to personally, or to anyone who has helped you. Keep it brief, but warm. Above all, don't ask for anything — no favors, no reminders of promised letters of reference — keep it strictly to thanking them for all they've done, to keep it sincere.
• Don't burn your bridges. It's probably natural for our heads to spin with all kinds of things we'd like to say and do to people who annoyed us or made things difficult for us at work. It would be oh-so satisfying to, just once, tell that one person how we really feel about them. Forget it! Ultimately, you're the one who will pay the price for that temporary moment of satisfaction. Satisfy yourself instead with the one good thing about all of this — you'll never have to see that person again! Then again, you just might. That's the nature of life, especially where our jobs are concerned — we usually end up running into the same set of people from company to company. So, buck-up, put on a brave smile and shake the hand of your nemesis. Who knows? One day they may end up reporting to you!
  

DOWNTIME: You've just been through a trauma. Honor yourself and let yourself heal by taking a break. If possible, take a long weekend away from home — away from your normal life — alone! Go camping, find a log cabin in the woods, or a secluded bungalow by the beach. You need peace and solitude now to regroup, clear your mind, calm your spirit, and come to terms of acceptance about your situation. Concentrate on nothing except relaxing, breathing and letting go.

TAKE INVENTORY: Once your mind is clear, it's time to start making an assessment of where you are NOW:

• Your financial situation: Take inventory of your personal finances, know where you stand, and plan your budget accordingly. Recognize that unemployment will take a while to kick-in, and that your severance package will be taken into account before you start receiving benefits. Be sure you know what amount will be coming in, after taxes and social security deductions, for how long, and what steps are needed to extend it, if necessary. Take inventory of your assets and know what options you can take should you need the cash.
• Immediate needs: Take inventory of you and your family's immediate needs:
  • Apply for unemployment benefits.
  • Address your fears. If you feel like yelling, then closet yourself in a room and try some primal scream therapy of your own. Take stock of your current circumstances (see below) so you know exactly what you have to work with, and put a box around your worries and fears. Grieve for your old life, shed your tears, then promise yourself to move on. Get busy. Keeping busy is the best way to make things happen and prevent fear and discouragement from getting you down.
  • While you're still covered by insurance, get that check-up, medical procedure or dental work you've been putting off, for yourself as well as your family. Do it now!
  • Plan your calendar around any classes, seminars, resume writing workshops, etc. that your former employer may be offering or that are available from state and community services. Take advantage of all classes, even if (for example) you currently have no intention of starting your own business, or becoming a consultant, these classes may generate ideas you've never even considered before and always provide you with information that you can apply in other areas of your life. You're building a new future, so use every opportunity to your advantage to lay down the seeds for future possibilities.
  • Have a meeting with your family discussing any immediate needs or changes that have to be made. Allow room for feelings and fears to be expressed. But also allow everyone to share ideas and strategies. Make sure you have every family member's full understanding, input and cooperation with the new situation, the new budget, the new lifestyle and new plans.
• Inventory yourself: Beyond the standard cataloging of skills and abilities for your resume, take an empty notebook and start writing down every fact about yourself (regardless of whether they are career-related or not). From these you will build your future plans:
  • Every life experience from which you learned something.
  • Every talent you possess.
  • Every skill or ability.
  • Every success or accomplishment.
  • Every personal strength.
  • Every personal weakness.
  • Every business or professional strength.
  • Every business or professional weakness.
  • Every activity you enjoy -- passions, hobbies, projects.
  • Every goal or dream you've ever had in the past.
• Ask yourself what you really want to do. Whether by choice or not, life has given you an opportunity to start fresh. You don't necessarily have to find an exact replica of your former job just because it's what you've always done. Start thinking about which direction you want to go in, and start formulating new goals. Get back in touch with your dreams and passions. Now is the perfect opportunity to set a new course — tailor your resume to something new, take classes in a new field, look into different careers, start a business or get the accreditations you've always wanted to have under your belt. Seize the opportunity.
• Know your options. Once you start thinking about creating a new life, forming a new destiny, look into all the different ways that can look like. There's no one-way-only 9-to-5 job approach to realizing our dreams. Think of unique ways to get yourself into the life you want.
• Get training. If you're lacking skill-sets that are holding you back, or if you're trying to develop yourself into a new career area, then now is your chance to get the training and degrees you need. See what's available in your community, online and through universities.
• Make connections: Call everyone you know personally and let them know about your new status. This may be very tough on our pride, yet most people have the same circle of friends, so they will find out about it one way or another. It might as well come from you. This also gives you the opportunity to ask if there are any opportunities in their company, their department or city, puts you in mind when these things do come up, and helps you keep those connections going.
• Print up personal business cards with your contact information on it: your name, your address, your phone number, your professional and educational accreditations, and your area or industry of interest or expertise (Marketing, Sales, Database Administrator, C++ Programmer, etc.) Include it with your resume. Hand it out to former colleagues, friends and acquaintances, and ask them to keep you in mind should any positions open up.
• Make more connections: Now more than ever, you need to get out and mix it up! Network. Join professional and social organizations. Let people know you're looking for a job. Let people know what your areas of expertise are, special projects you've worked on, your background and experience. Look for opportunities to meet people in your industry or the profession you're trying to break into. Want to get into advertising? Attend meetings of the American Marketing Association and ask the people around you about the current state of the industry, the latest trends, how they got started, what the best way to get your foot in the door is, who's hiring and what sorts of things they look for in candidates. Make a point to meet all presenters and ask them pertinent questions regarding their expertise, their company, and the industry. Collect business cards and write down the date you met this person, topics of discussion, any new industry buzz words you learned, and personal information you picked up about them. Follow up with them when the opportunity arises, or just send an email saying it was nice to meet them. Bring your personal business cards with you and ask people if they would mind keeping you in mind if any opportunities come up. In short, work the room as if you had a mission — you do.
• Consider forming a support group with your fellow coworkers and others who have been laid-off, or joining one. Take the initiative in contacting others and inviting them to the meetings. You never know what can come of it — everything from job leads to business partnerships can be developed when people have a mutual need.
• Research companies that you are interested in working for, and companies that are participating in Job Fairs. You need to be ready for on-the-spot interviews in those situations, and it is more impressive if you already know something about the company that you can insert into the conversation. Once you have done the research, request informational interviews with key managers at those companies. These interviews are great because it gives you exposure to company managers, interviewing practice and feedback, and help instill confidence. Visit university and college libraries, and utilize their computers to obtain access to Infotrac, a comprehensive database of company information.
• Read the Business sections of your newspaper and Business headlines online to stay current of company news, industry trends, and job fair events.
• If you are a minority candidate, consider attending professional diversity group meetings, such as NSHMBA (National Society of Hispanic MBAs) or NSBE (National Society of Black Engineers), to network and learn about opportunities at specific companies. Find other such associations and groups in the Resources section.

RESOURCES:

• Life Plan - Planning guide.
• Resources - Jobs & Careers: job search engines, postings, articles on career advice, etc.
• Resources - Classes and Training
• Resources - Professional Associations and Organizations
• Resources - Women's Links: Special links targeted specifically to women.
• Getting Hired - MSN's Careers section gives good resume tips, guidelines for cover letters, interviewing, negotiating, salary, and sources for training.
• Articles of interest
• Infotrac: company research information available through university and college library computers.

Finally, once you are employed again or generating an income you can live on, it will be time to work on making yourself "layoff proof." There is no way to totally eliminate the possibility of losing your job again, but you can reduce the impact so substantially that the threat will no longer have the ability to cause you to panic.

When you get to this point, you will then be truly independent. In fact, you will really then be "independently wealthy," if only in a modest way. You'll be buying yourself peace of mind and a sense of security that can render you totally unaffected by future economic conditions, the ups-and-downs of your employer, and free from the feeling of being enslaved to your job -- and that, as they say, is ... priceless!

Click on Personal Finances to get you there.

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